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Hey! Yelling is Just Not the Answer!
By W.H. Smith
During the Korean War I was assigned to the 7th Fighter Bomber Squadron at Kunsan, Korea. My military duties required me to be exposed to jet engine noises eight to ten hours each and every day. Back then it was not known that noised created by jet engines damaged one’s ability to hear properly. No one wore hearing protection.
In l960 the Air Force retrained me to be a computer engineer. The early computers utilized vacuum tubes which generated a lot of heat. High speed blowers were used to disperse that heat. As with jet engines, no one realized that the noise created by high speed blowers damaged one’s high frequency hearing. Therefore, no one wore hearing protection.
When I took my Air Force retirement physical it was stated on the paperwork that I had a pronounced hearing loss. I was thirty eight years old. The Veterans Administration would later award me a 20 percent disability based on my hearing loss. They also furnish me hearing aids and batteries for the aids. However, I would gladly return the money, the hearing aids, and the batteries to have the hearing I once had when I was young. Hearing aids are sort of like false teeth and glasses. They help but they don’t come close to your God-given original equipment.
Down through the years my hearing continued to worsen. This was caused by several things. Aging, the genes I inherited from my parents, noise pollution (sirens, fireworks, loud music, hunting without proper ear protection), and etc. It has become very frustrating for me to try and communicate with my family, friends and co-workers. It has also become very frustrating for these people to try and communicate with me. Because of this, I decided to attend classes on communication skills offered by the audio department of the University of Louisville. The first thing I was taught was that I have a disability, and that I need to accept it and learn how to live with it. I was also taught several new communication skills. However the skills I was taught are of little value if the general public does not recognize the fact that a hearing loss is a handicap.
Let me give you an example. If I was to approach a stranger wearing dark glasses, tapping with a white cane, and would ask that stranger how I could find a certain place the stranger would quickly realize that he or she would have to use a different form of communication to tell me how to locate what I was looking for.
If, and this is based on actual experiences, I was to approach the same person wearing hearing aids that person might murmur something like, “Well, it is one block up on your right, you can see the sign from here.” If I was to say, “I didn’t understand what you said,” I might get an answer like, “What! You don’t understand English?”
If I then pointed to my hearing aids that person would probably raise their voice loud enough for everyone within a block to hear and say, “Oh! You’re wearing hearing aids. Aren’t they working? Have you turned them on? Do you have your volume turned up? Do you need new batteries in them?” By this time I am ready to find a hole to crawl into as I feel that everyone on the block is looking at me. If you were wearing dentures in a restaurant and someone said to you, in a loud voice, “What do you mean you can’t eat corn on the cob, don’t you have your false teeth in?”
Or, if someone hands you something to read and you are wearing glasses but you tell the person you can’t read the information on the paper and they said to you, “What do you mean you can’t read it. Maybe you need new glasses?” Wouldn’t you feel a little degraded in both cases?
In order to eliminate embarrassment for people wearing hearing aids, I would like to offer the following suggestions to use when trying to communicate with a person who has a hearing loss.
1. Yelling is definitely not the answer. Usually yelling will only overdrive the hearing aids and make it less likely you will be understood. The proper way is to speak distinctively, firmly, and slowly. This is especially true when talking on a phone. By doing this the person may understand enough words to realize what you are trying to communicate.
2. If possible, you should face the person you are talking to and mouth your words. Most hearing impaired people have learned by watching a person’s lips that they are able to understand most of what is being said to them. This will not work if you have a mustache, chewing gum, or a mouth full of food. I have often wondered why they have handicap parking but don’t reserve seats up front and center for people with hearing impairments at speaking engagements, theaters, stage shows, churches, and etc.
3. The person initiating the conversation is to go to the other person. Please note: I said the person initiating the conversation should go to the other person. This applies to the person who has the hearing disability as well as the person speaking to a person with hearing loss. Cutting the distance between you drastically improves the communication process. Don’t expect the person with hearing loss to understand you if you have your head in a closet, under the kitchen sink, or standing next to a TV that is turned on with volume up. These are definitely no nos.
4. It is important to try and find a suitable environment when entertaining or going out with a person with hearing loss. If entertaining in your home, make sure that person, if possible, has a seat away from noises as such air conditioners, speakers, doorways where people are entering, and etc. If possible, they should be able to see the faces of as many people as possible. If dinning out, please ask to be seated in an area with less noise. Again the person should be seated at a table where he or she can see the majority of the faces in your party.
A Few Words of Advice for Those who Have Hearing Loss
Never, never ever be ashamed of your hearing loss. Wearing hearing aids is no more degrading than wearing eye glasses or dentures. Thousands of people wear hearing aids and there are probably thousands more who should but are too embarrassed to do so. Never ever nod your head indicating you understand if you don’t. This could really lead to further embarrassment and frustrations. If you think you understand some of the words try saying, “I thought you said something about _________.”
Or, if you don’t understand anything, say, “I didn’t get any of that. Please say a key word on the subject.” Don’t forget to watch the lips of the person talking. After only a few months I was surprised as to how much this has helped me to communicate with others. Be sure and limit the distance between you and the person you are communicating with.
Tell your family, friends, and co-workers that the best way to communicate with you is to first say your name to get your attention. This gives you the opportunity to face the person and to reduce the distance between you. So many times I have heard people talking (not understanding what they are saying) but I didn’t realize they were talking to me and so I ignored them. I am working on trying to correct that by turning to see if I am being addressed anytime I hear someone talking. It is my hope that this article will help eliminate frustrations for a lot people. However, remember, we humans are creatures of habit so it will take a lot of practice for everyone.
W.H. Smith, also known as “Papa Smitty,” is a member from New Albany, Indiana. April 2009
- Thanks to HLAA and disAbility Resource Center
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